Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are the pros and cons of a prospective bride/groom not having any siblings?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

IBM’s New Quantum Roadmap Brings the Bitcoin Threat Closer - Decrypt

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What's the most trivial thing that ever made you go to the doctor?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What is the experience of wearing a school uniform every day? Do people typically get used to it or dislike it?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Had strong anxiety, heart palpitations, headaches and fear randomly over twin flame presence, 20 mins later he didnt acknowledge me saw a photo of a girl on the back of his phone faced up. Assume it was a new gf. Was this a warning of seperation?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Who are the archers in Genesis 49:23?

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Sometime ago, the Iranian Minister said that a US Navy aircraft carrier would be an easy target for 300 speed boats armed with Katyusha rocket launchers. Is this true?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

How many boxes 600 x 400 x 200 go into a 20ft container?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why do some men like older women?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Can the Beckham brand survive reports of family feud? - BBC

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”